Oh, what the fuck is this now, I’m going bald? I can’t lose my hair; I look like a 14-year-old. My face is that of a boy so innocent he’s completely oblvious to the fact that puberty's hammer is about to come crashing down on him. People like that can’t go bald, they just end up looking like sex offenders.
I wouldn’t even have thought this was a possibility until Wednesday night when some vagrant made a comment. Initially I just thought he was being an asshole, but then it kind of ate me up inside until I emailed my parents Friday evening, threatening litigation and promising revenge for the hereditary curse they inflicted upon me. Damnit, body.
A number of people seem convinced that I have some sort of gluten intolerance. Never being allergic to anything in my life, I’m unwilling to admit any sort of weakness, lest I lose my status as “genetically perfect human.” That being said I’m starting to suspect that these haters might have a point. My stomach really doesn’t handle bread, or bread things, very well. I always just assumed it was the price of admission for being a fat guy who ate too much, but now that my dietary habits are much more under control, I think I’m starting to the impression that yeah, wheat's maybe not for me.
That, or maybe drinking is the worst thing ever invented; I can’t decide. At some point I should probably go and get myself tested, or registered as defective. Now that I’m thinking about it, recently discovered evidence suggests that I might be allergic to make-up. I’m not going to explain that statement, at all. Have fun with it.
Turns out my brain has more fat on it than I originally thought, and don’t actually understand how Facebook works. If you sent me something via the Face and I didn’t reply, it’s not because I’m an asshole (totally am) but because everything from people I don’t know gets auto-filtered into a spam folder. Anyway, thanks for the kind words and I’m sorry if it appeared I was ignoring you, escpecially you. I don’t think I can fix this, so I would suggest messaging the diary Facebook page -- those seem to come through alright.