Okay, sorry again for missing an update! This was going to be Pt. 2 of my breathless run-on sentence tour of San Francisco. My plan was for the whole thing to sound like some crazy drug and sex bender, but with food, but that wasn’t working particularly well, and also some things came up.

First, when I got home on Monday night, I weighed 286(!!!), 16 pounds more than I left with.

Then I lost my job on Friday. Cost-cutting measures. I can’t really be too upset, because I really did not like it very much -- I had to get up at six in the morning, which after all these months of seeing it firsthand, I still don’t believe is an actual time of day. During the exit interview they told me it was obvious that I was being grossly underutilized, which is a nice thing to hear.

The reason I actually missed updating Friday (aside from you know, cleaning out my desk) was that I went to the Doctor's office to get the test results back on my thyroid (which rocks, by the way). When they drew blood to check on it, though, I told them to go ahead and check me for any sexy diseases. Turned out I was clean, except apparently for Hepatitis-B, which you may know as the needle-sharing Hepatitis. I’d like to be clear: I don’t share my needles, ever, so this came as a pretty great shock to me. I spent the next 20 minutes in a numb haze brought on by both my recent unemployment, and uncomfortable alphabetic proximity to Pamela Anderson.

Eventually, though, I started putting some things together and gave the office a call... Turns out there was a miscommunication and my super cool Chinese doctor had tried to tell me I'm not immune to Hepatitis B and need a vaccine; not that I’m crawling with junkie sex diseases. Oh thank fucking Christ.

So, still unemployed (kinda cool), but still clean (very cool). I'm actually extremely interested in what the next few weeks are going to look like, as one of my biggest concerns regarding losing weight has been "What happens if I'm unemployed"? Last time I was without a job I lost a bunch of weight, just because food was expensive, but aside from that I used to eat when I was bored, and hanging out at your house all day, job searching, is boring as fuck. It's going to be interesting to see how I handle this. Also, when I left the house Friday night to drown my stress in a bucket of beer and metal, I weighed in at, are you ready for this? 265!

Twenty one fucking pounds in five days. You can’t even explain that. I went from the heaviest I’ve been in a very long time, to my new lowest weight.

Condensed Pt. 2 of SF: I ate a lot, a whole lot. Saturday night I cut my middle finger open on the BART escalator and had to wander around with my middle finger stuck in the air, squirting blood everywhere. Flesh and I had fun and even did an interview for the Stanford College radio station. I lost 21lbs this week, I can’t even begin to understand this. Thanks body, you always keep things interesting.