Thanks to a nearly dystopian economic climate, today's thief has mostly resorted to "I didn't know you could steal that" heist targets like cooking grease, power cords and baby formula, so it's nice to hear about someone going back to the basics with their criminality. Olympia's Shanon Meadows has proven himself to be just such a person, demonstrating his love for the classics by siphoning some $2000 of black gold from Thurston county gas stations.
Reportedly using a small electric pump to funnel fuel out of the stations' reserve tanks and into his minivan, Washington's suckiest sneak thief confessed his crude crime to detectives on Tuesday. "Obviously, most people don't buy their fuel from a guy in a van with 55 gallon drums," said a Sheriff's department representative, clearly speaking only for himself.
While many Americans struggle with their weight, few manage to do it with the dignity and poise of Obie the Dachshund, whose inspirational story has given renewed hope to sausage-shaped individuals everywhere. Now, having almost fully recuperated from his puppy tummy tuck, the nation's most prominently paunchy pooch is back to doing what he does best: Being a dog who barely even knows what's happening. So take a minute out of your mostly dachshund-free day and just watch this little weirdo roll around. It's for your health, I swear. (Ed. note:
We're all off kilter in episode 351 but we still manage to cover birthdays, getting fired, chicken sex, scary shovel dudes, and whatever that thing is Stacy is doing. And bears! There's an extra dose of stupid in here.
Check out this episode!
