If you've ever wondered what a dumb person looks like when they're flying through space without a parachute, this is it. Does anyone else find it interesting that nobody seems to be conecerned about his welfare after flying out of a plane without any real protection, and landing on cardboard? That bastard in the white shirt seems perfectly content not moving a limb.
Does this really look like a man who would party with exotic animals in a pick-up truck? Oh yeah, guess you're right.
I put ketchup on everything including grilled cheese and burritos (keep your judgment quiet, sir!). That means I spend a lot of time struggling with ketchup bottles, and that often ends in tears. Thanks to these MIT students who developed a super slippery interior coating to the bottles (which sounds super safe!), we can now keep the crying to a minimum.
It's Free Slurpee Day, for like another few hours. Hanna and Shane also discuss cabbies that hate debit cards, Amanda Knox being foxy, the idiocy or kickassness of drinking games and their appreciation of daredevils dying live on television.
In a display of pure class, Unabomer Ted Kaczynski bragged about his eight life sentences in his Harvard University alumni magazine. After listing his degrees and publications, he included his eight life sentences in the "awards" section of the profile. Thanks to Twitter user @ataussig, who posted a photo of the listing to his account, it's amusing sick people all over the world.
I guess this is what happens when there's no possibility for parole and, you know, you're insane. He's also included his address for the Federal Pen, of course, if any old crushes decide they want to get some of the Zynsk.
Try harder, ladies. You're not gonna be cute forever.
Terrible news alert! Dr. John Kellogg (the guy who created Corn Flakes, and built a cereal empire) was an awful human. He was, of course, a doctor, but he was the kind of doctor that lurks in the shadows and gives children nightmares. Why? Thanks to an article on Hypervocal, we know he prescribed awful (and terrifying) treatments for boys and girls who touched themselves. You, right there, take your hands out of your pants right now because this is serious business.
My hotdog has a first name, it's B-I-G-O-T.
Thanks, Preserve Marriage Washington, for putting the sanctity of man-woman unions right up there with spotless Subaru hubcaps.
Everyone remembers the first time they were kissed, the time they realized Santa wasn't real and the day they got Rickrolled. You know, someone would tell you that they wanted you to see a clip of cats, or maybe a link to a new website, and you'd see Rick Astley's pasty face singing about love.
